FRERARD-Our Love Will Last Forever
by killjoy.22
Summary: this is frerard fanfiction in which Gerard is Frank's math teacher..Frank is sixteen years old teenager whose bullied by other students. He's called emo and satanist for what he listens to and for what he's gone through in his life. Gerard is twenty five years old teacher who helps Frank a lot and who teaches him to be himself and not to take anyone's shit.
1. Chapter 1

It was a normal day as usual.. I got up early that morning cause I was going to go to school (yet I hated it so much)the sun was already up, I dressed up as quickly as possible and went out from my dark room.. I wasn't the normal teenager, I was all different from my friends, my room was dark with plenty of pictures of the bands, I liked many bands and loves listening to metal.

My favourite bands were Motionless In White and Black Veil Brides, my "friends" usually thought I was Satanist but they all were assholes, they liked creepy music. I didn't even like going outside , I preferred sitting in my dark room, listening to metal and playing my guitar. Maybe I was different for the pain I usually felt cause my father was dead. He died last year in accident. My mather stayed all alone. She had only me and I was trying to help her. She was very worried about me, worried that I didn't have many friends and I was lonely child. My father tought me not to imitate others and to be myself. He meant everything to me and suddenly he left me as nothing and flew away. Left me all alone with these stupid kids . so I was depressed and so I was very lonely. my friends weren't trying to help me, opposite, they were trying to laugh at me all the time, I was called emo and stupid dorky kid.

That's why I hated school so much. My mom was trying tomake me feel good and to make me see I wasn't alone, and I tried to show her that I was okay, though I was lying. I was fucking sixteen years old yet and I couldn't even imagine my life would be so difficult at age of sixteen when I was still child and when I was just starting my life

So I was a lonely kid with lots of problems. And I hated school very much because of this. I found my inspiration in bands and in metal music, it was vital for me.I was in a bad mood every morning but that day was different.

I went to the kitchen . my mom was already up and she was cooking meal for me. "oh you woke up honey?" she asked looking at me." Yeah hello mom" I greeted and kissed her on cheak. "I've cooked something for you, I hope you'll like it" "I love everything that is made by your hands mom" I said and sat at the table. I wasn't even hungry but I didn't want my mom to be worried about me so I forced myself to eat. "honey" she started "I hope everything will be okay at school today" she smiled at me " yea I hope too, but I hate all my classmates" I said and continued eating." Don't say that, they are your friends" " no they aren't" I said, I was going to stop eating and to go as quickly as I could but then I saw my mom's worried face and said" ok sorry, I'll try" "that's good" she said with smiling and stood up. " yes and don't forget when you come back home to do a revision cause soon you're gonna have exams and you know , okay? "yea, okay,I'll do, just I have to go somewhere, my guitar isn't playing as well as it did before and I wanna check it ok?" " okay honey.. do whatever you want with your guitar" she finished and stood up " now I have to go to work, be careful dear " she said , kissed me and left. She was working in a magazine as a seller and had to go to shop earlier than me. So when I finished eating I stood up and went to school,yet I didn't want but I had to


	2. Chapter 2

So I went to school, as I went in nobody looked at me, I was happy for it cuz everyday they were looking at me and yelling something rude. I came to my desk in the corner and set down, as I did it someone yelled "look our dorky emo came" and everyone laughed, I didn't do anything, just sat there and started repeating my lessons, first lesson we had in math.

There was nothing to repeat so I just let my books lay on my desk and listened to my idiot classmates yelling the kid came to me. That was Alicia, she was the one who was kind to me and there were few more people. She sat there next to me and said " hey Frankie how are you" I was so pleased and replied "mmm great and you?" "me too" she said" have you heard there's a new teacher in maths?" "no. is there?" "yea I don't know yet who he or she is but let's see.. i'm gonna like anyone more than our last teacher" "yea me to, he was such an idiot" I said and she laughed at it, I think there was nothing to laugh at cause I said it all seriously.. I remember once he forgot something and we all helped him.. after that he said he knew everything, he just wanted to see what we knew.. so yeah..

there was a new teacher and I was so looking forward it. I don't know why but I was wondering so bad who he was. Every teacher was bullying me and I knew this new teacher was going to do it too.. not at once, but when he'd know who I really was I knew, he'd bully me too."what are u thinking about" I heard suddenly and I remembered Alicia sitting next to me." Um nothing I just wonder who he is" " yeah, everyone wonders Frank, now what about you?" she asked " nothing, you?" " nothing much" she smiled" I hope you aren't listening to these idiots cause that don't worth it" " I know and that's what I'm doing" I smiled at her, she cared of me a lot and but I knew she had a boyfriend, besides I never liked her, I've never liked a girl and I didn't even want. I've never liked a boy too (thanks to god) and I was so disgusted about gays. I hated them. I've never supported gay marriage cause they were disgusting.

so finally the ring was bang. Student sat at their desks." Ok I'm gonna go" Alicia said and went. So I was left alone again in my desk.. there were two places in each desk. I was sitting alone. My other friends were sitting in pairs. Alicia was sitting next to her boyfriend, so yeah. Now we all were at our places. There was silence until our teacher didn't come in. We stood up, I was sitting in the last row so I didn't see him at once , all I saw was that he was a boy.

When all sat down I saw him and I was amazed. He was so beautiful, I've never seen the man and so beautiful, usually men were handsome but he was just beautiful, he had long black hair hiding his eyes. He wasn't too tall and he wasn't too short too. He had normal height and was very handsome. I looked at my friends, they all were looking at him but I didn't see amazing faces, I noticed that they didn't like him as much as I did. So I just stopped looking at them and looked at our new teacher again.

"so" he started and he had such a nice voice "I think you all know that from this day on I'll be your teacher" we all agreed." Okay now, yea, so my name is Gerard Way" he said, Gerard, first what I thought of was that Gerard wasn't such a good name. I preferred my name, but I hated everything besides this, about my personality.. he finally continued "I see you don't like me now but soon you'll like me, I promise" he said and smiled and as he said it everyone yelled that he was better than the last one. "oh, you aren't even good students, you must love your teacher guys, especially he was teaching you this subject during 4 years. "" but he was so stupid and he was hitting us if we didn't know the answer" my classmate Bill said." Don't even try and call a teacher stupid !" Gerard said.

" Now, let's continue oh" he uttered and looked at me" why is that boy sitting there alone?"and mentioned to me with his finger. Everyone started laughing and said that I was unfriendly." That's not the reason" Gerard said" do u wanna sit there little boy?" he asked and I felt something dropped in my stomach. He was talking to me and I don't know why but I couldn't speak " yea" was all I said. "okay" he said" now tell me your name guys. I need to know cause now I'm your teacher" he said and set down at his table...

I was the last one. Everyone said their names and stuff about them and now there was my turn. I stood up, "ummm" I started. "yes, I'm listening" Gerard said and smiled "my name is Frank" I said and everyone laughed. "silence!" Gerard yelled." I didn't think you were such a noisy class" he said. " okay. Continue" " yeah" I uttered" and my lastname is IERO" I said and looked at class. They weren't smiling. I looked at Gerard, neither was he. " then" he said. " tell me something about yourself" I started talking but suddenly Bill started " he is unfriendly, is stupid idiot and dorky kid" half of the class laughed. " Gerard stood up "look at me" said to Bill. Bill looked at him. Gerard went to him and said with smiling. I thought he was going to laugh too but instead he said" and why do you think you're not the things you followed?" Bill stopped laughing. I was amazed. He wasn't a bad teacher I thought . He wasn't as bad as the others, he wasn't at all. "what?" Bill asked. "if you don't shut up, I'll be free to expel you from the school" Gerard said. Bill's face went red, he was embrassed and I saw hate on his face. I finally started speaking. I said that I loved listening to metal music and that I liked playing guitar. I also told him that I had no father. Gerard was looking at me with poor eyes. When I finished speaking he came near to me and looked at me. I just saw his hazel eyes. How beautiful they were. "okay Frank yes? Or…." "yeah, Frank" " okay. Sit down Frank, but do you want to sit there alone?" he asked, I couldn't speak I just nooded once. "okay " was all he said.

Then he started speaking about himself and told us that we could ask him some questions. I didn't ask him anything, I wasn't on that mood but from what others asked and he answered, I heard that he was 25 years old. Twenty-fucking-five years old. He was so young, of course for the teacher's profession. My other teachers all were above 30 and he was 25. He was so young, nine years older than me. It was so amazing. And he looked so young too. Well, I wasn't expecting less from him but I would never imagine he was 25 years old.

after some minutes the lesson was over. Gerard left our class, I didn't even move, I knew, I dunno why, but I knew from this day on there was going to happen something new in my life, Gerard wasn't like other teachers, he was different, he didn't laugh at me and I was so happy.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a night, I was laying in my bad and thinking, I just stopped playing my fav song of BVB on my guitar. I was just thinking. That day wasn't normal, it was different, something different. Everyday what I got from school was bullying and other shit, my friends calling me " emo and dorky kid" but today, today that changed. Gerard defended me, he told Bill that he was all the things he followed, I don't know why, but I felt that my life was going to change. I knew that from today Gerard wasn't going to let my friends talk during the lesson and call me "dorky", maybe I was stupid, maybe I thought deeper and there was going to happen nothing, but I knew it, don't know why, but I knew it, he was a different teacher, very different. He didn't let them laugh at me and he, himself didn't laugh at me. Every teacher was laughing at me and were ironic, but not at once, when they got a new I was different, I listened to metal and I was alone and unfriendly they all started to ignore me, it was fact. Sometimes my mother went to them to talk and solve the problem. Then they were respecting me but after some time, they were starting to ignore me again. Now everything was different. Gerard was different.

suddenly I heard a knock on the door. It was my mom. She entered" honey, it's me, aren't you hungry?" she asked. " no mom thanks, I'd rather sleep now" I replied and smiled. " you look happy today, what happened?" she asked ,putting her hands on my head and sliding them on my hair. " nothing special" I answered "it's just… nobody bullied me today "I said and looked up at her in her eyes" really? It's nice to hear it honey" she said"all I want is you, to be happy sweetheart, I hope it gets better" "I love you mom" I said and kissed her. I loved her so much, she was so caring. She was always worried about me and I felt she did loved me back too. She was the best person I've ever seen. I had no father and my mother was trying to do everything for me, to feel safe and great. I loved her, I really loved her so much " me too honey" she replied and kissed me on my forehead "sleep well" she said and left. I was very tired, all I wanted was sleep. I couldn't think of anything anymore, I just couldn't, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day I was alone at home. I got up and went to kitchen. There was a letter on the table. I took it, it was from my mother, she was writing that she had to go to her work early cause there were many buyers. That was okay, there were days when it was happening. Then I looked at the clock and discovered that I got up late, I had only 15 minutes left until school ."oh, how stupid I am " I uttered, usually my mother was waking me up early, I really couldn't wake up on time. Today she was gone and I was late. I didn't even brush my hair or eat anything, I just took my bag and ran to school.

when I got there I noticed that I wasn't late, I was running and I managed to go to school on time. I was so tired, I had run all the way to school. I put my bag on the ground and rest against the wall. I was breathing hard, when I heard the voice " hey look at that fag, he is so red, look" someone said and I knew it was my classmate's James' voice. I didn't answer at all, I just ignored him as my mother told me. " what ,are u scared?" he said and I heard everyone laughing behind him. I ignored him again. He stepped forward me, I looked at him " oh why are u red? U were running? Or your mother punished you for the bad mark and beat you?" he yelled and looked at others, they were laughing and couldn't breathe from it. I looked up at him, he was way taller than me. I was the smallest in my class, everyone were tall. " don't ever dare and speak about my mother " I yelled and stepped forward him. " oh, you know how to speak?" he said and looked down at me, I was so upset, I wanted to hit him in his face and beat him, but I knew I couldn't do it, he was stronger than me and taller than me. I knew he was gonna beat me anyway. "listen carefully" I started." Oh, I'm so scared" James uttered. "if you don't want me to hit you, then shut the hell up."I screamed. He looked amazed, I didn't know why, but then I got everything "I didn't even know you knew how to say SHUT THE HELL UP, you mama's boy" he said with a great irony and put his nose on mine with eyes full of anger. I really was scared cause I knew he was going to hit me if I told him something rude. the bell rang. I thought he was going to go now but instead he stayed there waiting what I was gonna say.

I'd rather get a bad mark or do something really bad, than say something bad to him cause he had beaten many children in our school and he was a really good fighter. I didn't know what to do, on other hand I wanted to tell him something, so that he couldn't bully me anymore. " what are u thinking about?" he asked me ,scanned his eyes on me and looking at me carefully. " I just.." I stopped, I had the venom for him cause he was the one who was bullying me everyday. I wanted to tell him something, I really did but all what I dared was "you better keep your ass away from me" and then I thought I was going to die. I didn't know what I was talking, I just wanted to get away from hallway was nearly empty, there were some students looking at James and interesting what was he going to say. First lesson we had in history and our teacher was very severe. If we didn't go to his lesson on time he was going to punish us but James wasn't worried about it. He was looking at me, I thought he was going to beat me. I was really scared, especially when he did something scary. He lifted his hand in the air to hit me, I knew I was going to be beaten by him, when I suddenly heard a familiar voice.

"what's up here?!" someone shouted .I had my eyes closed, afraid of what James was going to do. James put his hand down and looked back. It was Gerard, standing there and looking at James, I was amazed. This man saved me again. Students were looking at him. " go to class, " he shouted "now!"everyone moved including James and me but he added " you're not going anywhere, you two" and pointed at us." You" he moved to others" go to lesson now, it began a while ago and tell the teacher about Frank and this boy, I forgot the name" he said, I was amazed, he hadn't forgotten my name, but maybe it was because I had an easy name to remember. " tell the teacher" Gerard continued" that I have these 2 students, now go" he finished and looked at us. I thought he was going to punish us because of our behavior, but it wasn't my fault, it was all James' fault, really. But I wasn't going to defend myself. I just stood there. Despite of these all, I was happy, cause our history teacher was gonna punish us anyway and I preferred Gerard to do that cause he wasn't as severe as the other one. " do you know what you just did here" he started. Looking at James. " it's really bad behavior to beat your classmate. " I didn't beat him"James said with an anger. " stop talking when I'm speaking. I came on time. If I didn't come, you would have beaten him. Am I right?" " he said something rude" James said. I was amazed, he was blaming me. I couldn't believe my ears." What?" I uttered. " okay Frank " Gerard said " you didn't say something rude? Then I'll ask Frank what you told him okay? And let's see what he's going to answer." I was looking down and was feeling really guilty, though it wasn't my fault. " next time, you'll do the thing like that, I'm gonna do something really bad to you. You understand?" "but.." James started. " nothing." Gerard said "I don't mind whose fault was this. You were going to hit him. And I know for sure that this was your fault. You, everyone, are bullying this boy. And it's not correct behavior. You should know that he's the student just like you despite of his taste and difficulties, which he has gone through in his life" I was just distructed. Of course I told him at the first lesson that I had no father and he remembered it. He was really good man. " if you understand then, Frank" he moved forward me " you can go to class. I'll tell everyone not to bully you at my lesson. Now you can go" he told me and smiled a little. I was surprised, he had really nice smile. I moved and smiled back.

When I was turning aside I heard Gerard's voice" you James, are going to punish for your bad behavior. To bully someone just because his personality is a big sin. Now come with me" it was just incredible. He defended me, but it was nothing of course. He was a teacher and he had to defend me. It was his responsibility. But why weren't others doing the same. That's why I knew he was different and he was going to talk to all my classmates not to bully me. It was just unbelievable. i couldn't believe this. everyone were looking at me the whole lesson. They weren't laughing at me, sometimes they were whispering something to each other while looking at me but it really didn't matter, I ignored them all. The most important thing for me at that moment was Gerard and the fact that he defended me. James was looking at me with venom and with eyes full of anger but i was ignoring them too.I was thinking about that moment all day. And I was happy. Finally they were going to respect me and not to bully me because Gerard was really important teacher at school and each student had to listen to him. It was incredible. That guy defended me, I couldn't wait until my mom would hear these all. She'd be very happy. I was deeply in my thoughts when someone shouted at me

" Frank, u here?!" I just realized I was at the lesson. it was the last lesson that day and maybe i was tired. my teacher was shouting at me. "umm.. yeah, what?" I uttered, I was really confused. I looked around . Everyone were staring at me. " what do you want?" I asked. " hey, take care of your words, you're talking to the teacher!" my teacher said. What did I say? Oh, why were everyone so rude to me? " now, I forgot the marks of your control writing, it's somewhere in teachers' room and you're gonna bring it here okay?" she said. So.. when my teachers had forgotten the marks, they were always telling me to bring them back and it was so annoying. I stood up slowly " it would be better if you hurry up" "okay, okay" I replied" but tell me where can I find it" " I told you it's in our room. I don't know where, maybe on the table, "" okay" I said and left the classroom. Why me, why did I have to do everything, weren't others in class.? So I went to the room and knocked twice. " come in " someone responded. It was Gerard's voice.

I went in, nobody was there but Gerard. He was standing there, looking at some sheets of paper. " may I come in?" I asked. " oh, yeah of course Frank, what's up?" he asked without looking at me. " oh, I.., my teacher of literature sent me to bring her the marks of our control writing, she said it was here, somewhere." " oh, really?" Gerard put down the sheets and looked at me now" okay, you can sit here, until I can find them. " okay" I said but I didn't dare anything, I was just standing there, he looked at me " Frank, sit down". " umm.. okay " I told him and sat down on the nearest chair. " teacher Gerard " I started, I wanted to ask him something, I just couldn't dare it. " yeah Frank " he said,searching our marks on shelves " may I ask you something?" I asked thinking he'd say-no, " feel free to ask me questions Frank" Gerard said. " okay, I was wondering, umm, I was.. " I couldn't bring myself to ask it. " Frank, ask me, come on" he looked at me for a while. " okay " I said " are you really.. mm.. I mean, are you really..25 years old?" I finally did it. I thought now Gerard was going to look at me with anger but instead he looked at me and said " yeah Frank, what , do I look older?" " oh, no, you don't, I was expecting you were young but I'd never imagine you were 25" I said" yeah, maybe, cause your teachers all are more than 28 or 30, I know, I'm young but I know enough to be a teacher" he smiled " oh, I know, you are a great teacher" I said and looked down " oh, how do you know? I was only twice in your class" Gerard asked,

he was right, he was only twice in our class, but I wasn't talking about math, I was talking about him, himself. He was so kind. " oh, I mean, teach, I mean that, you're very kind" I said " really? Do you think I am kind?" " yeah, you defended me, nobody's done it before. You know, even teachers were bullying me and you are the only one who helped me" I said and looked up at him. He was really young and really beautiful, his hazel eyes..oh, what I was thinking about, he was a teacher but I couldn't look in his eyes , they were so beautiful.

He looked at me and sat on the chair right in front of me so that we were looking at each-other in eyes equally. " if so, then I'm here to defend you" he said " bullying is a great sin Frank. You can't bully someone just because of his taste or as I said just because he's gone through hard times. I remember you telling me you have no father" he finished, I could feel him breathing hard. I heard it and I felt it. And suddenly I was nervous. "yes, I have no father, he died a while ago in a car accident and it's the reason of why I am depressed right now with all the others, including bullying" "exactly, that's why I'm going to continue defending you, you need help now. I've never met a guy like you before. Different and depressed and you know what? I prefer you're kinda guys, than mean ones, who bully everyone just because they are taller and stronger" he said, we were looking in each-other's eyes again. His hazel eyes, his breathing, I could feel everything. He had so beautiful face, he was beautiful. The different and the greatest teacher I've ever had. And he was sitting in front of me. Very close, looking in my eyes carefully. I was nervous, I didn't know what was up. I was just nervous. My hands started to go wet, my face too. I could feel how my face was covering with sweat. I needed to stop it. I really needed. Cause I really got nervous. he was sitting so close, we nearly touched our noses." "I", I uttered "uh, er… I need to go, my teacher's waiting for me " I said and stood up and suddenly I felt facilitation. It was easier to be farther from him cause I lost control when I was that close, as I was seconds ago. " okay" Gerard said " I found them, here you go " he finished and gave me the marks. " I think this is what you were looking for, if not, you can come again and I'll research " he smiled. I thought I melted with his smile. I would rather go to hell than come here again. I needed to be far away from him for a while. I didn't know what was up with me. I really didn't know. It was something different. I was feeling something about my teacher but it was love as I felt with others. He was my teacher and I loved him. There was nothing different. I loved all my teachers. That was all. But why did I get nervous when I was near him, close to him? " okay" I said and got away from that place as fast as I could


	4. Chapter 4

It was Thursday. I was lying in my bed when I heard someone shouting form downstairs. " Frankie, get up, honey, it's time to go to school". Oh it was my mom. I had to wake up. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to continue sleeping cause I went to bed late last night,. NO. I went on time, I just couldn't sleep. I was thinking the whole night. Thinking of everything, of my life, of Gerard. Thinking of what happened yesterday. But then I got everything. He was just a teacher and he was doing what he was supposed to do. It was his responsibility to defend children. And I got nervous cause he was a new teacher and I hadn't spent too much time with him. That's why I wasn't nervous when I was with other teachers, they were my old ones. Gerard was new, also I was a shy person. That was all. Gerard was just a new teacher.

I woke up, dressed up, brushed my teeth and went downstairs. My mom was in the kitchen. " come on, dear, eat something. You must be hungry now" " I'm not, mom, I don't want anything, I just.. have to go to school" I said and took my bag but my mom stopped me" what? When did you start going to school so early?" I looked at clock. It was 30 minutes left before school. "I.. er.. well. I didn't know that I had left so many time until school" I muttered and put my bag down. I wanted to go to school. Usually I didn't go to school so early and also didn't wanted to ,but I had started it nowadays.  
"you didn't know?" my mom started "is there something happening at school Frank? You look happy."  
"there's nothing new mom, well , there is, but. In one word. Children stopped bullying me for that new teacher, Gerard" I said.  
"really?" mom asked "that's cool. He's a good teacher, isn't he?" "yeah, he defended me twice" I said. " mom I have to give my friend a book he gave me yesterday and so I have to go now. I'm sorry" I uttered and stood up.  
"okay Frank. Do what you want, just be careful, now go" she smiled and kisses me on my forehead. " okay, see ya" I said and left my house.  
I wasn't thinking about anything, I tried at least. Everything was like I thought. Gerard was just new, that was all.

When I came to class, nobody looked at me. I just heard several whispers like "look at that emo, he came to school" nothing else. I was so grateful of Gerard. It was his desert.  
As I sat at my desk, the bell rang. I was excited, first lesson we had in maths. Everyone went to their desks. Gerard entered. He was wearing black shirt and jeans as always. His black hair, they were so long that they disturbed Gerard with seeing things. And he had to replace them from his eyes very often.  
He came in and greeted. We did the same. I was sitting at my old desk again, in the last row, in the corner. I laid on my desk, I didn't want Gerard to see me, but I knew he was going to see me anyway cause it was a lesson and suddenly I remembered what Gerard had told me yesterday. He was going to talk to everyone about me.  
Holy fuck !  
this was the only thing now that I wanted to happen at least. I was excited of it yesterday but now I was nervous. My heart started beating faster. I was afraid of what was going to happen next.  
Gerard looked at us and asked who was absent today. When my classmate was done, Gerard looked at us again and asked " you forgot frank, isn't he at school today?" I was laying on my desk. But it was in the last row so he didn't recognize me. I got up quickly. It hit me when I heard him saying my name.  
"I'm here, teach," I uttered. " oh, well, " he said" okay, I didn't notice you, you were laying but it's lesson Frank, and you have to get up" he finished and went to the blackboard.  
"now, what was our lesson today?" he asked looking at my classmate.  
Fuck.  
I wanted to lay down. I really didn't want to be at that lesson and I was happy that Gerard forgot something he promised me the day before. Somehow I was happy of it but my happiness seemed to be short cause then I suddenly heard his voice  
"but," he uttered "we have something to talk about before it." He looked me and I guessed what he was going to do. "before the lesson I want to talk to you about Frank. For now I know only Frank who you are bullying. Just tell me if there is anyone else and I'm gonna defend him too" he said.  
Everyone sighed."bullying is a sin" he started.  
"do you know what are you doing now with that boy?" he asked " you're destructing his life. I know many children who commited suicide because of bullying. Do you want your friend to do the same?" he asked and looked at all of my classmates.

I was really surprised. I had never thought about suicide before cause of my mother. She had no husband. That was enough for her. If she hadn't had a son, she would really be depressed and lonely and I didn't want it for her cause I loved her more than anyone on the Earth planet.  
"he is depressed" Gerard continued " he needs your help now. He has no father. He has gone through the hardest of times in his life. You'll never know what it means unless you're not going to go through it yourselves."  
He was right. He was really right and suddenly I started liking this conversation. He was all right. Some sighed on a very loud voice.

"why are you sighing? I am saying truth to you and you have to listen. From this day on, you're not allowed to bully children at school and especially your classmate. I hope there are not others like Frank. Yeah? If there are, please tell me. And this conversation isn't just about Frank, it about others too who are bullied by you." Everyone were quiet, listening to Gerard. I looked up at him. During this I was looking somewhere down. I looked at him. He was looking at me, he smiled a little. I don't know exactly if it was smile or not but it seemed more like it.  
"if you understand, then we can go on the lesson " he said and set at his table. I really wasn't on that mood I wanted just to lay down cause everyone were looking at me. They were surprised cause Gerard was the only teacher to speak about this, the one and only, the first and the last. I knew it. He really was the best teacher, THE BEST.  
After the lesson children went outside. Gerard was sitting at his table again and wasn't going anywhere. He was just looking at his hand. He had something on it. I just couldn't notice it cause of my position. I wasn't going anywhere. I was grateful of Gerard, very grateful. Now everyone were outside and I wanted to thank him. I stood up and went through him. I still couldn't bring myself to do it. When I was near him, he noticed that I was going to him and hided something with his clothe on his hand. I was confused, but when I went to him to say something, the bell rang. " Frank, you don't need to thank me" he just said with the face expression that was telling me that he didn't want to talk about it at the moment. I went to my desk. I became a little angry. Was I annoying? He didn't listen to me. His face was so hurtful. Maybe something hurt? On his hand which he hid when I went to him? He wasn't even good at the lesson. He was always happy and always funny when we had a lesson but now?  
It was different. He didn't even shout when he heard someone talking. So bill dared a lot. He was speaking the whole lesson. Usually he loved imitating emos. It was hurting a little cause they were calling me emo. And he started again, he just hadn't dared to do something like that on Gerard's lesson. But now that there was something up with Gerard, he started.

"look, I love emos and I am emo" Gerard didn't say anything, I don't know he if he heard it or not, but he just didn't say anything. " I love cutting myself" Bill continued" I love, how is it called? –self-harm" he uttered.  
I rolled my eyes. There was nothing funny in self-harm., though I had never self-harmed. Bill took a red pencil and started making red lines on his wrists.  
"look" he was shouting. " look, oh my god" he cried" I self-harmed. I'm an emo, oh my god, it hurts, haha" he finished and laughed and suddenly Gerard stood up and went to Bill.  
Bill threw away the pencil and looked at Gerard. Gerard went to him. I thought he dared a lot and Gerard was going to shout at him but instead he stood quiet next to Bill . it seemed that he was thinking about something. Then he looked down at him and lifted the sleeves of his shirt.  
Holy shit.  
It was unbelievable. He had big scars on his wrists. I was fucking destroyed and couldn't believe my eyes. He had scars of cutting. HE SELF-HARRMED. These last words hit me like a gun. Oh, he had so many scars, hell of a lot. Bill was shocked, he opened his mouth in horror. So did others. It was just incredible. The man who saved me, the man who defended me, the man who made my classmates not to bully me, was self-harming. Maybe it's one of many reasons of why he defended me. He had big scars, very big. It wasn't new. He had no any blood, they seemed to be very old but he had them. He had self-harmed. Maybe not now, but he was doing it formerly. He really was.  
But I was even more shocked after his behavior that he did next. He lifted the sleeves from the left hand and I really wanted to cry.  
His hand was covered by scratches. It wasn't blood on his hand, the blood was dried. It had to be done a long ago cause there were scars on that hand too,but there were several scratches that weren't went to scars yet.  
" now" Gerard uttered. "it's not that funny. You mustn't do that if you can compare mine with yours" he finished and went to his table with a painful face. I got everything.  
It was what hurt Gerard. The scratches, they were hurting it. It was the reason of why Gerard didn't talk to me. He had to hide them and he had not to show me that something hurt him.  
Gerard was continuing the lesson. There was just a problem. Nobody was listening to him. I bet everyone were thinking about scars and scratched. It destroyed us, everyone. I couldn't think of anything but this the whole day. It was a reason of why he was so kind to me. I thought he was just like me. I wasn't self-harming, but he had to be like me cause only depressed people self-harm.  
After the lessons I stood up quickly and ran from class. I wanted to talk to Gerard. I really did. I wanted to know the reason of his depression. I saw him on the road, going home.  
" teacher Gerard" I shouted. He looked at me.  
" please wait, just one minute" I yelled and ran to him.  
" yes, Frank. I know what you want from me. " he told me as I went to him. " oh, I'm sorry but I wonder.. " I couldn't finish my words, Gerard interrupted me "I know what you wonder Frank, my scars. Am I right?" he asked and looked at me with his hazel eyes.  
" yeah" I said and I looked back at him. " okay. Yeah. I self-harmed. I really didn't want to talk about it and I hid it when you went to me this morning, remember?" " yeah, I wondered why didn't you talk to me" I said and looked at the ground. He was so kind, well. His voice was so sweet. "I knew you were going to thank me, but there's no need of it. I am just like you"  
these last words were the words I was expecting to hear from Gerard at least. He was like me? No fucking way. He was adorable, I wasn't.  
" no, you're not" I started looking at him again" you are a great person. I'm not" I said.  
" shhh" Gerard said and put his first finger on my lip. It was so warm. My heart started beating faster. He was touching me, fucking touching me.  
" don't say that. Well I have to go Frank. " he uttered. " maybe we can talk later. " " no please, I need to talk to you, teacher"  
we started walking slowly.  
" can you show me them? " I asked him still thinking he'd say no. " yes, you can" he sighed and lifted his sleeves on both hands. I touched the scars and scratches. They were too many. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was looking at me carefully  
" are you surprised?" he asked  
" yeah. I'm really amazed. I would never imagine you had done this. You., the one and only person who was able to defend me. " I finished and kept walking.  
" yeah, maybe that's the reason of what I've done to you and for you. I haven't done it for so long now. They are old. I'm not depressed anymore, or, I'm trying not to be anymore" he smiled a little. I smiled back . he had so beautiful smile. I melted everytime he smiled at me. His teeth, even his teeth were beautiful. I had never seen man and so beautiful.  
" seems" he started " we have the same way home" and looked at the road. " yeah" I agreed. " so let's go and talk" he said.  
"there are too many things I want to know about you" i uttered  
" okay, then. Keep asking me. I can answer them all" he smiled again. It was nearly the best day in my life. I met someone just like me. He was a teacher but it was okay. He was just 9 years older than me. I couldn't believe what happened today at school and it was so amazing. We were walking togather and speaking a lot until we didn't discover that his house was on the other side of the way home was continuing on the left side of the road and his way was on the right side. so we said goodbye to each-other and went to the opposite sides


	5. Chapter 5

Days passed. I wanted to go to school more now. Gerard was so warm to me, he always was explaining everything that I didn't understand. Besides now everyone stopped bullying me. Only several children were whispering something rude to each-other when I went through them.

Weeks passed.

I became more aware of math. Gerard was a great teacher, personally. He was great in his subject too. He was young but he could do everything better than others. He was great in his subject and in life too. So warm and sweet.  
During this time, I was very happy. So was my mom. She thanked Gerard for everything he'd done for me. I wasn't depressed anymore, I was, but not as much as I was before Gerard. Other teachers were so rude. If you couldn't understand something they were all shouting and calling stupid kid. Gerard wasn't like that. He could explain something 100 times to make you see it. He was my favorite teacher already and I bet so thought others too.  
But not James or Bill.  
They were angry with Gerard but he didn't care. Gerard didn't care about it. More children loved him than hated him and it was so special.  
During these weeks I wanted to study more, but only math, well I was studying well other subjects too but math became my favorite one. I did it the best. During this one month me and Gerard were getting very close but he was just a teacher and I was just a student. Nothing much.

Everything went well until one day. I went to school early as usual, as I did it during this one month, after Gerard became our teacher. I didn't see Gerard. Usually he was coming to school early cause he always had the first lesson. I couldn't recognize him. He wasn't there. I was a little surprised of it. But I was even more surprised when Gerard didn't enter the class. Someone else.  
what the fuck?  
We had math. Our teacher was Gerard. I was confused and so were others as I noticed.  
"what?" everyone uttered. we were really confused. i even thought that they changed our teacher again and i felt something dropped in my stomach as i though it.  
" don't worry guys, Gerard's your teacher again. " I sighed as I heard these words. I was afraid Gerard wasn't our teacher anymore. I didn't want even to imagine this. "but I have a bad new for you" the teacher continued " Gerard is has a temperature. He can't come here until Monday, but I'm not even sure if he can come on Monday" he said.

Today was Thursday.

One day. Only one day. I didn't want to be on a lesson without Gerard already. For me it meant the death of me. What now? Were everyone going to bully me again? Until Gerard wasn't here? That scared me a lot. I just discovered just how much I needed him and what he was doing for me and to me.

Gerard was ill. Fucking ill. I imagined his face right now. He was always awake, alive and happy but now? He wasn't. he must have been sad now, ill. I imagined this and suddenly my heart started aching and I smiled. Huge smile covered my face.  
I was sitting at my desk all day. When Gerard was there I usually was talking to him, if he was in class. If he wasn't I was going outside and looking at him talk with others. Or I was sitting at my desk and doing math exercises. As I already noticed, math became my favorite subject.  
that day was so boring. I didn't even want to do math. I laid on my desk and tried to sleep. That day was horrible and very boring. After lessons I went home very fast. School was so fucking boring that day.  
I thought maybe I should go to Gerard's and see how he was but then I remembered I didn't know where he lived. I just knew where his crossing was.  
when I came home my mother was already home. She seemed worried a little.  
She greeted and asked me whet happened that I wasn't on my mood.  
" nothing mom" I answered. " it was just bad day" I said and went in my room.  
I wasn't hungry. I put my bag on my bad and set on chair. I looked at my guitar. I wanted to play on it. Usually when I was sad I played on guitar and it always helped me. Before guitar was the only thing that made me feel better. Now it's not the same. Now I had my math teacher Gerard.

I don't remember how long I was playing on it but I stopped when I heard someone's knock on the door. Usually we hadn't had many visitors, or any visitors at all. If we had, they were my mother's friends, but it was male's voice.  
A male.  
what did he want? He entered shouting to my mom. I half opened the door of my room to see who he was or what he was shouting about. He was also talking too fast. I couldn't hear what he was talking but I heard several sentences.  
" when are you going to give me the money?" he yelled.  
what money? What was he talking about?  
" oh, I'll give you soon, just please give me some time. I'll have money soon from my work "  
" I don't care." He yelled again. " if you don't give me the money, It will make me turn you out of the house. You and your little boy. " he said.  
" oh, no" my mother begged " please. Don't do it. I will give you it as soon as I get it."  
" I don't care" the man said again. " I need money in one week. " he finished and went. My mom locked the door and rest against it.  
I couldn't see anything from half-opened door, but I could totally hear my mom sobbing.  
It killed me.  
She was so strong woman. She wasn't crying when I was there, she only cried when my father died and my heart was broken. I couldn't stand it. I wanted to kill that motherfucker for shouting to my mother and making her cry. I went to the room she was in.  
"oh Frank. You're here?" she said and smiled as usual. Acting like nothing's happened. That killed me more. She was hiding me that she was crying.  
" everything's alright, honey, are you hungry?" she asked and came to kiss me on my forehead. I stopped her.  
" what's up?" she asked, trying to hide the tears she had in her eyes.  
"who was that guy?"I asked and pointed to the door he had just left.  
" oh, that?" my mom looked at me " he was your father's friend."  
" no" I said, nearly yelling.  
" what?" my mother asked .  
" I wanna kill him, mom, you have to give him money to give us this house?"I asked seriously.  
" no" ,my mom laughed " why do you think so? It's not like..." she couldn't finish it as I shouted "don't lie to me"  
she looked surprised.  
"tell me everything, I'm not a little boy anymore. I am sixteen, fucking sixteen mom" I uttered and mother looked at me angrily.  
" watch your mouth" she said.  
" okay. If I do this, will you tell me?" I asked and looked at her eyes carefully.  
" mom, I love you and I'm trying to show you that you aren't alone. My father's not here but I am. Tell me , please. " I uttered and put my hand on her cheek. As I did so, my mom couldn't help crying and I saw a drop coming from her eyes down her cheek.  
It killed me and suddenly I wanted to kill myself. I couldn't look my mom sobbing in front of me.  
"Frank" she started, breathing hard.  
" everything's not as easy as you imagine" she said.  
" we can live here only if I give that man money monthly. If I don't give him money, he will turn us out of this house " she finished and placed her hand to dry the tears.  
I was shocked. I didn't know it. So if my mom doesn't give him money, he will turn us out of this house? but why? Was this house his?  
" mom" I started. " is this house his own?" I asked .  
"it was, he just needed money, so he started selling this house to people, but not forever. We have to give him money in exchange for this house, get it honey? He'll turn us out of it if we don't give him money. Do you think we are the first ones living here? No, before us, there were people but they were turned out of it cause they couldn't give him enough money." She finished and looked away from me when she added following words  
" when your father was alive, we could afford this but now Frank," she said and looked at me again with eyes full of tears.  
My heart was dead at the moment. I was useless. I couldn't help my mother.  
" now? He's not anymore" she continued" he's not anymore and everything's hard. I can't stand this anymore. I can't afford this" she said and couldn't help crying. She started crying in front of me. I put my arms around her and one tear drop fell off my eye.  
" mom" I started. " don't cry please. I will help you" I added and looked right in her eyes.  
" I will start working so that we'll have more money to give that motherfu.." I stopped at that word and looked down.  
" No" my mom nearly shouted.  
" no way Frank. I will continue working. There is no way you're starting to work. I will do everything" she said and dried her tears.  
" everything's over, stop thinking about it. I can give him money" she stood up  
" but.. " I started  
"nothing" she said and added" now stand up and go do your homework. Tomorrow you have to go to school." She said and winked me her eye.  
she left  
I was sick. I didn't know what to do. This, everything was so tiring. I needed to go away from this place and rest somewhere alone. Think about everything.  
it was unbelievable. We were paying for this house during this time and I didn't know this. Well. I was ashamed of myself cause I couldn't help my mom. I was useless and worthless. That was fact.  
I needed Gerard now . tomorrow- another day without him. If he was at school I could tell him about everything. I needed to tell my worried and my problems to someone. If I wasn't gonna do it, then I could probably explode. I hated being at home and I hated being at school too. So what did I have to do? Where to go? Everything was so tiring and annoying. I was just 16 years old and already had so many problems. That day was terrible, horrible. Well I already didn't like it. I imagined Gerard, I tried not to think about it, but immediately his sick face came in my mind. I smiled a little thinking that he was now laying on his bed, sick. That made me excited.  
I was still sitting on the floor. I discovered it when something cold came to my body. The floor was cold. I stood up and decided not to go to the kitchen. I really didn't want to see my mom like this. The best thing to do at the moment was to go to my room and continue playing on my guitar.


	6. Chapter 6

So little time. So many problems.  
I couldn't take this anymore. Everyday new problems were coming out. That felt horrible.  
That man appeared who announced that we had to give him money in exchange of this house, Gerard wasn't at school, I didn't want to study anymore(besides math of course)  
And this, everything, was so tiring. Now I found my mom crying in front of me because she couldn't do what she was doing anymore.  
I was useless and worthless. I couldn't help her when she needed me. My father died and she had no one to help her. It felt miserable.  
I missed my father too. He meant everything to me. I was destroyed when I got a new about him dying. I couldn't imagine my father dying. I though he was never going to leave me. I needed him the most now. He taught me to be myself, not to listen to the bullies. But it was so hard since he left me. I left alone in this world. The world was very ugly. Very ugly and I was scared. My father left me and I had no one. He did the main thing for me, helped me to find my inspiration in music. He bought me my first guitar, my current one.  
That was partly a reason of why I loved my guitar so much. I had only left the guitar from him. And I kept my guitar all safe. It meant a lot to me.

Did I need any more reason to be depressed?  
Wasn't it all explaining everything?  
School was more boring that day. Math was the most boring. I didn't like that teacher. He was rude. We couldn't even understand what he was explaining. I noticed others didn't like him too. We couldn't understand anything. And he was shouting for it.  
Anyway.  
He was horrible teacher. I just realized how much I missed Gerard and how much I was missing when he wasn't next to me. I was sleeping on my desk all day. I only woke up on the lunch time. I took my lunch and set at table, alone.  
I was nearly finishing my lunch when I heard something from the pupils who were sitting at a table next to me. James and Bill.I heard the word "Gerard". I was interesting in what they were talking about, I moved nearer to them so that i could hear what they were talking .  
"I don't like that teacher" said James.  
I thought it was about new one who was instead of Gerard only these two days but I was mistaken.  
" neither do I" said Bill and looked at his lunch. "first of all what kind of name is Gerard" he added.  
And I got angry. I didn't like the name Gerard too, but it had nothing to do with his erudition. They were fucking insulting Gerard.  
"yeah, that's true. He's too stupid to be a teacher. Twenty fucking five years old. Too young and too stupid." He finished.  
I got very angry. He was twenty five years old but he was way better than 30 and more years old ones. He was great teacher.  
"yeah" James said and looked at Bill. " also there are some rumours about it, you wanna know?" he asked and narrowed his eyes.  
"yep, tell me" Bill said and looked at him impatiently.  
I looked forward it too. I was interested in what he was going to say. About Gerard. About teacher who was the best in our school.  
"he's" he said and sighed "uh.." he stopped again.  
I nearly shouted at him "c'mon"  
"okay, he is "he stopped again "there are rumours that he's.. gay" he finally finished.  
Holy fucking shit!  
that was impossible. Gerard wasn't gay. They were rumours. Fucking rumours. Yeah. They hated Gerard and were spreading disgusting rumours about him. They were gross.  
"what?" Bill asked " I don't think he is" he said. " but we hate him, so we can spread these rumours, can't we?" he said and winked his one eye. "great idea" James said ' but if you ask me he may be, cause he has no wife"  
COME ON  
Which wife they were talking about. Gerard was 25 years old. He was young. I was upset about it. They were going to spread rumours about it. They were disgusting. Gerard wasn't gay. They were. Oh my god! It was impossible. I had to stop them. Gerard did many things to me. I couldn't do this. I had to stop them. Especially when they added something after all.  
"okay, and when Gerard comes at school everyone will look at him." James said and laughed.  
I couldn't take this anymore and yelled at them. "shut up you faggots. "  
they looked at me surprised.

I dared a lot.

well, I wasn't afraid of them at that moment, because I was defending Gerard just as he was defending me from them. They were gross because they were spreading these rumours cause Gerard was mean to them at first day when he helped me. They were just gross.  
"what?" Bill stood up.  
James Did the same.  
"yeah, I heard everything" I said and looked up at them " listen you, Gerard isn't faggot. You are" I said and waited for them to hit me. But this time I wasn't going to let them beat me. I was doing this for Gerard. And that was all I needed. I was doing it for him.  
"what do you want you little shit?" James asked and I could tell you from the expression of his face that he was very angry. So looked Bill.  
" so he just called us faggots?" Bill asked.  
"yep" James replied.  
" you are faggots yeah," I uttered "Gerard isn't gay. You are stupid little kids who are angry with Gerard and want to do bad things to him to make everyone hate him." I finished and stepped forward them. Bill stepped forward me too and suddenly I felt something hard on my face. It was James.  
He fucking hit me.  
I touched the place on my face he just had hit. It hurt. But I wasn't going to let them beat me and bully me so I turned to them again and hit James for the first time ever. I was proud of myself at the moment until I didn't see James' angry face and they both started beating me. I tried to hit them back but it was too scary and too hard. They were two. Two on one. Hitting me. It hurt a lot. I felt their hands hitting my stomach. I fell down. They started hitting their legs against me. I couldn't see anything. I wasn't regretting this all, because I was doing it for Gerard.  
The last thing I saw was someone's legs. Someone was coming through us. Then I couldn't see anything and I don't remember anything.

***  
when I woke up I was laying on sofa. I looked around. I was at school. In teacher's room. I tried to stand up but I couldn't. Everything was hurting. My stomach, my face, hands,everything. I laid back on sofa. I remembered what I'd done. But I really wasn't regretting . I was proud of myself. I finally hit them back but I got beaten again.  
in several minutes I saw a teacher coming to me. Michelle. My geography teacher.  
"are you alright?" she asked and put something cold on my forehead.  
"no, I'm not" I muttered and moaned from her action. It hurt me.  
"I know it's hurtful but I have to do this. I have to touch your bruises because if I don't do this it gets worse and worse." She said and put another cold thing on my check.  
"it hurts" I uttered.  
" I know " she said. " do you want to call your mom?"  
"oh, no" I nearly yelled. " I don't want her to get worried about me" I said.  
"oh" she said. " she has to see them anyway. Aren't you going to go home?"  
She was right. I had to go home anyway and she was going to see it.  
"not now" I said. " please"  
"okay, how you want" she said and replaced that cold thing on my nose. It hurt a lot.  
I just wanted to get away from my school. I hated James and Bill so much. They were gross and I hoped they weren't going to spread that silly rumour about Gerard. I thought they weren't. Because I could tell everyone why they were doing this, but would they believe in me?  
There was such a mess in my brain.

***  
I was in the street ,walking. I was thinking a lot at the moment.  
I asked my teacher to let me go home. Everything hurt and she let me do this, but I really wasn't going to go home. I needed to walk. I wasn't going to show my mother my scars either. She was going to get worried about it. But she was going to see it anyway, but the later, the better.  
I was worried too of what I'd done, but I was happy at the same time. I did it for Gerard. He did the same for me.  
I wasn't regretting anything.  
At the moment what I was thinking about was James and bill. They were fucking bitches. They were looking at me with eyes full of anger and pride. They were happy cuz they beat me.

Haha.

That was funny, because I wasn't even thinking about it in that way. I wasn't thinking I lost a fight at all. I didn't care I was stronger or them. I just did it for a right reason and for Gerard, that was what mattered to me.  
On the other hand, I was worried about my mom and I needed to get work to earn some money to help my mom. Maybe that was the only chance thatcould help us.  
I was tired of this life. So many things happened to me in this month. I couldn't even handle it. That was too many and s depressing for me because I was just starting my life.

Yeah!


End file.
